This is because we fall in love with an idea of what a person should be rather than falling in love with the person as they exist. As a result, we try to change the person to be what we think they should be. We try to change them into our idea of who and what they are rather than accepting him or her as they are.
I realize that this is called wrongly directed love. Wrongly directed love is NOT really love, it is more of an OBSESSION.
Obsession is an illness. You are only loving an idea of a person that you have. In turn, you place your idea of what this person is or should be on to the person you wish to obsess.
Recognize that if affection is not being returned and you still blow hot over that person, that you are being obsessive.
Now if it could work the other way around, love yourself first, as once someone loves themselves, they would not allow any kind of disrespect in love, and they would not give any either.
Does love hurt? Yes
Does it have to? No
